an adventure ends
thought I'd sum up my time here with a couplee stories, recollections on my time in Korea
Cycling with headphones? Illegal but...
Any cyclist in Seoul can tell you about the average Ajushi (older gentleman) ghetto-blasting traditional music from his bike. You can usually hear them coming from 100 metres away, or more, speakers booming from the basket on the front or the rack on the back. It seemed weird at first, but I barely take any notice anymore. Most noteworthy, two Ajushis who bike together, yelling at each other while their music blares away. I've seen them a few times, always together, yelling, and with the amps cranked to 11. One day, I got into a duel with a guy who just wouldn't quit passing me and slowing down, his trad music destroying my eardrums for a good kilometre or so until I finally hit a speed he couldn't keep up with (though he did try for a few hundred metres).
Boy scouts on wheels
I was on my way home on my bike one morning, pulled up on the footpath at a busy intersection 2 minutes from my apartment, and this old lady grabbed my handlebars. Now, when I say old, I mean she was friggin old! Certainly in her 90s! I asked her if she was ok, did she need help, but she didn’t understand. The little green walking man blinked away and she started walking across, using my bike as leverage. I held bike as we went, and halfway across, the green man turned red. The traffic tried to start moving, couldn't, but didn’t toot their horns at all. Very respectful, I found. I gave them a wave.
We got to the opposite side and the old lady pointed across the road again! She still had to cross the next road. Motorists were staring at the odd couple as we waited. I just smiled and nodded. We walked across but the green guy didn’t give us enough time again. The drivers were patient once more and when we arrived at the other side, she let go of my bike and kept going. I called out goodbye to her and she just waved as she walked away, not stopping to look back.
A x B can equal AB or C or something else!
One wintery day, an unnamed Korean supervisor rolled in to the office proudly wearing a fur coat. The foreign teachers all kinda just looked at each other, not shocked or surprised, just.. y’know.. so I thought I'd ask about it (politely):
“Is that fur?”
“Yes, it is!”
“Oh.” (nodding)
“You like it?”
“Um, yes, it looks very warm.”
“Oh yes, it’s very warm. It’s my favourite coat. Why?”
“I suppose I just don’t see many fur coats in NZ any more.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, just people in NZ thinking about the animal. Like, do Koreans think about the animals too?”
“Oh yes, the poor animal.”
“Yeah, um, what do you think about the animal?”
“I know, I feel sorry for the animal, but I love my coat.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, it’s my favourite.”
“Oh yes, it looks very nice. But you think it’s sad about the animal?”
“Of course, yes. It’s very sad.”
“Yes, very sad for the animal, but it looks good on you.”
“Oh thank you.” (beaming with pride)
Not verbatim, but the main thing I’m trying to point out is the disconnect there. I’m not saying it’s a Korean thing either. Is that possibly where culture clash exists? Cultural disconnect which is obvious to foreigners?
WHUMP! Adulthood
Perhaps I just chose one in particular, but here’s a pretty important moment that made me grow up a little.
I was teaching some 6 and 7 year olds and, while I was helping one of the students finish her workbook, the others jumped up and had a run around the class. They then decided to do flying superman leaps off the window frame. I told them to stop, turned back to the student and book and then heard a massive WHUMP! The class went silent. I looked behind me and found the tiniest little girl in the class face down and not moving. I was on the floor, not knowing whether to lift her up or run for help, then, after a few breathless moments, she started crying. I was pretty damn relieved. I got her to her feet and took her to get some treatment, but when she came back to class, she was still pretty unhappy. We finished the class and I looked at her face.
“Ah, still very pretty,” I told her. She smiled, but it hurt so she began crying again. Left the class with a massive welt on her chin and in tears. The following week she was still in pain, but could laugh when the other kids were re-enacting her face-plant (in slow motion).
Anyway, I suppose that was pretty defining to me cos at the time, I was wondering whether I truly cared about the kids. This event basically ended that little personal debate in my head.
Bottlenecks
I was crossing the road in Gayang and, after 9 months of ignorance, it reminded me very much of the main north road out of Christchurch, through Belfast. Minus the tall buildings, add a traffic island. It made me think about how I felt when I got to Korea. First impressions of Korea were high-rises and traffic, built up towns and congested living, even in the more rural areas I’ve visited. I suppose I can recall the constricted feeling when I first got here and now realise all those feelings of claustrophobia on the subway, bus, at work, walking down the street, are a major source of stress. It’s something I haven’t really thought about before, but the stress does come out from time to time. I was sitting on the subway a month ago and had this couple stand right over me while they happily chatted away. It was odd, for some reason, how they were encroaching on my space. I thought I was used to it, but this time, I had to move, and admittedly I didn’t pretend to be happy about moving either. Perhaps it was a combination of the general closeness and their noise level, or a combination of the two of them standing at my knees on an otherwise half filled carriage, or perhaps they were just abnormally close. Freaks.
When I get back to enzed, I initially have the opposite feeling. So much space unfilled and odd personal space issues. Those and the fear of impending doom, going to a supermarche and not packing groceries fast enough for the person behind me, leading them to get upset, and then needing to get out of the parking lot before they catch up and scream something harsh like, “Where did you learn to pack a shopping bag? FOUR SQUARE?!” Mother could be so cruel.
Sun, sand, 3 months of beach season
The big beach of Busan, Haeundae, has been the source of many great moments – the Polar Bear dip in December of 2007; learning Irish hurling in front of a slightly confused general public; standing on sharp implements and hobbling off to the hospital for an evil spirits shot. One particular weekend, we befriended some young people who got us to play dodgeball. It was all quite fun until I took a beamer in the nether regions. After a few moments writhing in the sand in pain, I rugby tackled the offender. He folded into the sand in a massive heap, collapsing like a house of cards. A few minutes later, he got his breath back and taught me Shirim – Korean wrestling. That is, he taught me that he can do Shirim, not how to do it. Think a 70kg scrawny bee keeper of a person throwing me (about 84kg at the time) so hard, I don't recall whether I landed on my back or my face. Great laughs had by some.
Shitwa
Every time I go back, I have two massive bursts of energy.
One is of nostalgia, hitting the bars, screen golf, the orange place, gift-wrapping jenga pieces, cycling down the causeway, “playing” basketball all afternoon until someone got a goal, chicken, watermelon, Prison Break, GS25 soju, people. People. I miss the kids, the teachers, the Gimbab Chonguk Captain, EVERYONE! Ok, almost everyone.
And the other burst of energy is to get the hell out of there! It’s not the same, man. Damo’s is gone. The strip is quiet. There’s no pimps stopping me on the street anymore (admittedly, I do only go there during the day now, and when i lived there, pimps very rarely stopped me before 5pm).
I jest. I look back on Shihwa as one of the great times of my life. I really do. It may not be THE Korean experience, but it certainly was A Korean experience.
Things I will miss
* Kids – the kids here are incredible. They study so hard and most are so giving.
* Public transport – it’s clean, it’s safe, it’s relatively well connected.
* Dragonflies – magical to watch (just look up)
* Pink sunsets
* Food – many Korean foods captured me hook, line and sinker.
* Gatecrashing neighbours parties, ending up on the norae (karaoke) machine (I’d like to say this didn’t happen more than once, but I’d be lying)
* Noraebang (singing rooms/karaoke)
* Being offered home made food at sports events, on the bus, the subway, the park, the street, you name it
* Friends - the only reason I made it here so long is my friends, and their babies ;)
* General niceness and smiles
* Kids speaking to me in Korean and actually understanding them (yes, sometimes after 3 or 4 repeats)
* Spitting
Things I won’t miss
* Leaving kimchi on my kitchen bench overnight (did it again last night, dammit)
* Fake niceness and smiles – seriously sick of this version of bs here. I've stopped accepting fake apologies (signs of a jaded foreigner)
* Residential areas with 6-lane roads - I wonder how people can let their kids walk home with the buses and trucks hurtling along. I’ve only seen a few accidents, but just wow, the speeds...
* Hagwons – never again. Anyone considering working in an English hagwon in Korea, don't. Or, if you feel the need, don't be surprised when it sucks. I've had great experiences at both Hagwons I've worked at, but while the positives outweighed the negatives 6 months ago, the polarities have been reversed.
* Somek – soju + beer. sounds like happy, tastes like danger, tomorrows like wrecked
* Racism - this is a tough one to discuss. I'm thinking of writing a book. Seriously.
* Other people spitting
* Kids – I know. Some kids are great, some are incredibly disrespectful. I’m not saying they should respect everyone, but if there’s someone with a pram, move. If there’s people standing at a bus stop, don’t ride your bicycle at top speed on the footpath. If I catch you swearing at school (I know a few swear words now), don’t throw a hissy fit when I boot you out of class or report you to your homeroom teacher.
* Adults – Some adults are great, some are incredibly disrespectful. I’m not saying they should respect everyone, but if there’s someone with a pram, move. If there’s people standing at a bus stop, don’t ride your bicycle/motorbike at top speed on the footpath. If your friend disrespects you, don’t feel that social decorum demands you smash a beer bottle over his/her head and then stand over him/her screaming that you are older than s/he is by 7+ hours, while he/she bleeds profusely in the gutter (I think I've seen something like this 4 or 5 times, and at least once in each area I've lived).
*FHM using Freddie Flintoff for tips to get in shape – a) FHM wants me in shape?! and b) if you’re fit enough to walk to the shop to buy FHM, you’re fit enough for cricket. Not sure of the link to Korea, but I think it's still pertinent commentary.
Thanks for reading this far. The above isn't an all engrossing statement on Korea. I have a million stories about this place, the people, my adventures etc. I've just chosen a few slightly random ones that I haven't heard anyone else discuss before. Korea certainly is a trip which I endorse.
Cycling with headphones? Illegal but...
Any cyclist in Seoul can tell you about the average Ajushi (older gentleman) ghetto-blasting traditional music from his bike. You can usually hear them coming from 100 metres away, or more, speakers booming from the basket on the front or the rack on the back. It seemed weird at first, but I barely take any notice anymore. Most noteworthy, two Ajushis who bike together, yelling at each other while their music blares away. I've seen them a few times, always together, yelling, and with the amps cranked to 11. One day, I got into a duel with a guy who just wouldn't quit passing me and slowing down, his trad music destroying my eardrums for a good kilometre or so until I finally hit a speed he couldn't keep up with (though he did try for a few hundred metres).
Boy scouts on wheels
I was on my way home on my bike one morning, pulled up on the footpath at a busy intersection 2 minutes from my apartment, and this old lady grabbed my handlebars. Now, when I say old, I mean she was friggin old! Certainly in her 90s! I asked her if she was ok, did she need help, but she didn’t understand. The little green walking man blinked away and she started walking across, using my bike as leverage. I held bike as we went, and halfway across, the green man turned red. The traffic tried to start moving, couldn't, but didn’t toot their horns at all. Very respectful, I found. I gave them a wave.
We got to the opposite side and the old lady pointed across the road again! She still had to cross the next road. Motorists were staring at the odd couple as we waited. I just smiled and nodded. We walked across but the green guy didn’t give us enough time again. The drivers were patient once more and when we arrived at the other side, she let go of my bike and kept going. I called out goodbye to her and she just waved as she walked away, not stopping to look back.
A x B can equal AB or C or something else!
One wintery day, an unnamed Korean supervisor rolled in to the office proudly wearing a fur coat. The foreign teachers all kinda just looked at each other, not shocked or surprised, just.. y’know.. so I thought I'd ask about it (politely):
“Is that fur?”
“Yes, it is!”
“Oh.” (nodding)
“You like it?”
“Um, yes, it looks very warm.”
“Oh yes, it’s very warm. It’s my favourite coat. Why?”
“I suppose I just don’t see many fur coats in NZ any more.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, just people in NZ thinking about the animal. Like, do Koreans think about the animals too?”
“Oh yes, the poor animal.”
“Yeah, um, what do you think about the animal?”
“I know, I feel sorry for the animal, but I love my coat.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, it’s my favourite.”
“Oh yes, it looks very nice. But you think it’s sad about the animal?”
“Of course, yes. It’s very sad.”
“Yes, very sad for the animal, but it looks good on you.”
“Oh thank you.” (beaming with pride)
Not verbatim, but the main thing I’m trying to point out is the disconnect there. I’m not saying it’s a Korean thing either. Is that possibly where culture clash exists? Cultural disconnect which is obvious to foreigners?
WHUMP! Adulthood
Perhaps I just chose one in particular, but here’s a pretty important moment that made me grow up a little.
I was teaching some 6 and 7 year olds and, while I was helping one of the students finish her workbook, the others jumped up and had a run around the class. They then decided to do flying superman leaps off the window frame. I told them to stop, turned back to the student and book and then heard a massive WHUMP! The class went silent. I looked behind me and found the tiniest little girl in the class face down and not moving. I was on the floor, not knowing whether to lift her up or run for help, then, after a few breathless moments, she started crying. I was pretty damn relieved. I got her to her feet and took her to get some treatment, but when she came back to class, she was still pretty unhappy. We finished the class and I looked at her face.
“Ah, still very pretty,” I told her. She smiled, but it hurt so she began crying again. Left the class with a massive welt on her chin and in tears. The following week she was still in pain, but could laugh when the other kids were re-enacting her face-plant (in slow motion).
Anyway, I suppose that was pretty defining to me cos at the time, I was wondering whether I truly cared about the kids. This event basically ended that little personal debate in my head.
Bottlenecks
I was crossing the road in Gayang and, after 9 months of ignorance, it reminded me very much of the main north road out of Christchurch, through Belfast. Minus the tall buildings, add a traffic island. It made me think about how I felt when I got to Korea. First impressions of Korea were high-rises and traffic, built up towns and congested living, even in the more rural areas I’ve visited. I suppose I can recall the constricted feeling when I first got here and now realise all those feelings of claustrophobia on the subway, bus, at work, walking down the street, are a major source of stress. It’s something I haven’t really thought about before, but the stress does come out from time to time. I was sitting on the subway a month ago and had this couple stand right over me while they happily chatted away. It was odd, for some reason, how they were encroaching on my space. I thought I was used to it, but this time, I had to move, and admittedly I didn’t pretend to be happy about moving either. Perhaps it was a combination of the general closeness and their noise level, or a combination of the two of them standing at my knees on an otherwise half filled carriage, or perhaps they were just abnormally close. Freaks.
When I get back to enzed, I initially have the opposite feeling. So much space unfilled and odd personal space issues. Those and the fear of impending doom, going to a supermarche and not packing groceries fast enough for the person behind me, leading them to get upset, and then needing to get out of the parking lot before they catch up and scream something harsh like, “Where did you learn to pack a shopping bag? FOUR SQUARE?!” Mother could be so cruel.
Sun, sand, 3 months of beach season
The big beach of Busan, Haeundae, has been the source of many great moments – the Polar Bear dip in December of 2007; learning Irish hurling in front of a slightly confused general public; standing on sharp implements and hobbling off to the hospital for an evil spirits shot. One particular weekend, we befriended some young people who got us to play dodgeball. It was all quite fun until I took a beamer in the nether regions. After a few moments writhing in the sand in pain, I rugby tackled the offender. He folded into the sand in a massive heap, collapsing like a house of cards. A few minutes later, he got his breath back and taught me Shirim – Korean wrestling. That is, he taught me that he can do Shirim, not how to do it. Think a 70kg scrawny bee keeper of a person throwing me (about 84kg at the time) so hard, I don't recall whether I landed on my back or my face. Great laughs had by some.
Shitwa
Every time I go back, I have two massive bursts of energy.
One is of nostalgia, hitting the bars, screen golf, the orange place, gift-wrapping jenga pieces, cycling down the causeway, “playing” basketball all afternoon until someone got a goal, chicken, watermelon, Prison Break, GS25 soju, people. People. I miss the kids, the teachers, the Gimbab Chonguk Captain, EVERYONE! Ok, almost everyone.
And the other burst of energy is to get the hell out of there! It’s not the same, man. Damo’s is gone. The strip is quiet. There’s no pimps stopping me on the street anymore (admittedly, I do only go there during the day now, and when i lived there, pimps very rarely stopped me before 5pm).
I jest. I look back on Shihwa as one of the great times of my life. I really do. It may not be THE Korean experience, but it certainly was A Korean experience.
Things I will miss
* Kids – the kids here are incredible. They study so hard and most are so giving.
* Public transport – it’s clean, it’s safe, it’s relatively well connected.
* Dragonflies – magical to watch (just look up)
* Pink sunsets
* Food – many Korean foods captured me hook, line and sinker.
* Gatecrashing neighbours parties, ending up on the norae (karaoke) machine (I’d like to say this didn’t happen more than once, but I’d be lying)
* Noraebang (singing rooms/karaoke)
* Being offered home made food at sports events, on the bus, the subway, the park, the street, you name it
* Friends - the only reason I made it here so long is my friends, and their babies ;)
* General niceness and smiles
* Kids speaking to me in Korean and actually understanding them (yes, sometimes after 3 or 4 repeats)
* Spitting
Things I won’t miss
* Leaving kimchi on my kitchen bench overnight (did it again last night, dammit)
* Fake niceness and smiles – seriously sick of this version of bs here. I've stopped accepting fake apologies (signs of a jaded foreigner)
* Residential areas with 6-lane roads - I wonder how people can let their kids walk home with the buses and trucks hurtling along. I’ve only seen a few accidents, but just wow, the speeds...
* Hagwons – never again. Anyone considering working in an English hagwon in Korea, don't. Or, if you feel the need, don't be surprised when it sucks. I've had great experiences at both Hagwons I've worked at, but while the positives outweighed the negatives 6 months ago, the polarities have been reversed.
* Somek – soju + beer. sounds like happy, tastes like danger, tomorrows like wrecked
* Racism - this is a tough one to discuss. I'm thinking of writing a book. Seriously.
* Other people spitting
* Kids – I know. Some kids are great, some are incredibly disrespectful. I’m not saying they should respect everyone, but if there’s someone with a pram, move. If there’s people standing at a bus stop, don’t ride your bicycle at top speed on the footpath. If I catch you swearing at school (I know a few swear words now), don’t throw a hissy fit when I boot you out of class or report you to your homeroom teacher.
* Adults – Some adults are great, some are incredibly disrespectful. I’m not saying they should respect everyone, but if there’s someone with a pram, move. If there’s people standing at a bus stop, don’t ride your bicycle/motorbike at top speed on the footpath. If your friend disrespects you, don’t feel that social decorum demands you smash a beer bottle over his/her head and then stand over him/her screaming that you are older than s/he is by 7+ hours, while he/she bleeds profusely in the gutter (I think I've seen something like this 4 or 5 times, and at least once in each area I've lived).
*FHM using Freddie Flintoff for tips to get in shape – a) FHM wants me in shape?! and b) if you’re fit enough to walk to the shop to buy FHM, you’re fit enough for cricket. Not sure of the link to Korea, but I think it's still pertinent commentary.
Thanks for reading this far. The above isn't an all engrossing statement on Korea. I have a million stories about this place, the people, my adventures etc. I've just chosen a few slightly random ones that I haven't heard anyone else discuss before. Korea certainly is a trip which I endorse.
posted by the Emperor Fabulous at 5:19 AM
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