20% well done

I taught a guy essay writing for a month. He'd lived in South Africa, so his english is very good, and he's trying to get into a foreign high school. While asking him what a pass mark is in Korea, he couldn't tell me.

In New Zealand, we need to get maybe 50 - 55% to get to do the next course, I told him, and asked about South Africa. He told me it was normally 60% in SA. Okay, so what about Korea? Well, we're always allowed to do the next course. Say what? We never fail. Say what? It doesn't matter what grades we get. Say what?

I asked a few teachers and they concurred, saying the first they'd known of failure (or fear thereof) was studying in a foriegn university. Apparently even university is the same here - fail, but get into the next course anyway!!! Is that healthy?

Let's put the grades in perspective though.

I supervised a basic level listening test (play a tape, students choose correct multi-choice answers) and decided to do it myself. I got 49 out of 50. 5 questions were dubious and one was just impossible.

If it's 4 x multichoice and there's a group of 12 students all guessing, the probability of that number getting hit is 3, right? 3 students should've guessed it correctly. In this class, not one person got it correct. I still don't know the answer, AND I MARKED IT! The teacher who'd organised the test scratched the question to make it out of 49.

Na nun babo imnida

I've drunk quite a bit since moving to Shiwa, for me at least - one late night per week usually. I drank very little in NZ after leaving university, but the teacher hangouts here are all bars. It's probably also a function of finishing work at 10pm three nights a week. There's not much left to do other than drink or find an open restaurant. Otherwise, it's movies, internet and tv.

This week was Dee's final week at work so the teachers went out for some drinks before she departs. I was warned that my superviser, Bonnie, is a scary person to drink alcohol with, and like a storm warning for Southland farmers, it didn't really prepare me for it. A typical night of drinking with Koreans involves a lot of eating too. Dishes and bottles of soju kept arriving and, Bonnie having plonked herself beside me, my glass was filled constantly. I was soon into an offensive drunk routine (I won't write some of the things I said), so that was fun and disturbing. I don't really enjoy the aftermath of being offensive anymore for various reasons. Depends who I'm offending though, as I love being offensive jokes, as do others.

So we ended up in a Noribong, karaoke again, and I kicked off proceedings with Funky Town. Everyone dug it, and the next thing you know, people are on the table singing for gold! Bonnie sang some Korean pop love songs and Mr Lee, my boss, jumped up to do a few hits. From there, memory evades me, although I recall eating yet again at a sit on the floor restaurant nearby (within minutes, Brian was lying down, eyes closed). And still, Bonnie was pouring everyone soju. I crawled home before sunlight, I'm sure, unless my eyes were closed, and woke up midday-ish with a massive hangover.

Brian and I had lunch at the local fast food joint and I inched my way slowly to work for a short saturday shift. Luckily I didn't have to teach anyone under 14, so the students were all quiet as a mouse. Talking classes where all they do is avoid talking.

Here's an interesting sidenote: My class planning fell apart because students didn't talk, so what did I do? Well, I started talking. It seems I can prattle on about anything, anytime. One class was supposed to be talking about cars, and wouldn't you know it, the 2 girls in class don't have much interest in cars. Well, that makes 3 of us. But to kick off discussion, I talk about SUV's and driving along riverbeds, next thing we're (I'm) talking about fishing and hunting, then food, then cooking. Class goes great guns (well, I enjoyed it). I reckon I'd be killer at word association football cup zinadine algeria africa famine hungry chips fish swimming bikinis models cameras shooting olympics beijing china chinglish sign word association football soccer socceroos....

Let's move on. As I left work, my boss, Mr Lee said it was great to go to a Noribong with me. All entertainment, no talent. Thanks, Mr Lee, see you on monday.

Target Shiwa

A few people have asked where I am in relation to Seoul, and this is the best picture I can do at the moment (can't find anything better on the net). I'm ignoring the flash reflection so you should too.


The big yellow bit is Seoul city, the pink is central Seoul, and if you look due south-west, there's a big red dot pointing somewhere that says 'You are here'. This, you may not be surprised to find out, is where I took the photo and around 20 minutes walk from my place (75mins by subway from the pink bit). Directly north of my town is Incheon city (about 60mins from the pink bit), and west of there is the island where Incheon International Airport is.

DPZ and Seoul War Memorial

Okay, so if you've read a few of my posts lately, you'll probably understand that I know nothing. I went on the DMZ tour this weekend. Wahoo, I thought, looking forward to a massive insight into the north-south situation.

Jackie (english teacher from school next to mine) and I joined a tour at around 9am and went north via bus. Our bus combined with another bus to head into the DMZ and we were told by our tour guide to not take photos from the bus. After our passports were checked by a man carrying the worlds oldest infantry rifle (exaggeration hopefully obvious), we entered the DMZ. We were told the bridges and overpasses were all filled with TNT.

First stop was one of the North Korean infiltration tunnels found in the 1970's, which was great. I wasn't allowed to take photos though. After that, we watched the worlds worst propoganda for peace video - think Jerry Bruckheimer (action movie director) does the Korean war and a hopeful future resolution in 7 minutes. Not allowed to take photos.

Next was a lookout of the Joint Security Area and surrounds, which was quite cool. We stayed there for a total of five minutes (not long enough). From the hall, we could see mountains to the north and a few kilometres, two towers maybe 1km apart, one flying the South Korean flag, and the other flying the North Korean flag. No photos inside the lookout hall, but outside, we were allowed to take photos from behind a yellow line! The photo is all I could see clearly.


After that we went to a brand new train station that's situated within the DMZ and bought a ticket to Pyongyang and got a fake stamp in our passports, an opportunity not to miss as I'd been feeling like a tourist for a while. We weren't allowed to take photos of the construction area around the station parking lot though. Next stop was a small restaurant and merchandise, er, memorial gift supplies stall where there was nothing to be disallowed a photo of.

Then it was back to Seoul, where we took some good ol' Aussies, Alby, Brad and Hally, for a feed and a drink. We ditched the bus tour when it took us to a jewellrey shop and hit the subway, and when we arrived in Itaewon, who was outside the station farewelling people from a bus? Our tour guide. You had to be there.


After a late lunch, we went to the War Memorial, which was quite superb. There was a little bit of BS and selective historical accounting (that I saw), but the memorials themselves were outstanding and there was a room dedicated to the nations that went to the Korean War.



I don't think I have any real insights from the trip. I was basically a tourist along for a ride, not taking photos of trees made of plastic explosives. Considering the amount of weaponry there, it's probably more of a DPZ (P = photography) than DMZ. Let me ask a question of you, though. Why would two opposition forces have a joint security area? What's the point? Did East and West Germany do the same? Someone please post a comment or direct me to an explanation.

The northern border

I thought a photo of the North Korean border may be pertinent, considering my previous post.

On the right is Dandong, China (3 million people), on the left is North Korea. The river is the border. Dandong residents swim and fish in the river, they just don't cross to the other side. Photo taken by me, August, 2005.


Half a bridge from China to North Korea that the Americans accidentally bombed in the 1950's. As it stretches only halfway across the river now, it's a tourist attraction. The new bridge that is used now (unlit, oddly enough), which you may have seen in the news lately, is next to it.

Nuke tests and famine

I emailed a number of people about this last week and thought my blog could do with some gross human opinion blather.

The same day of the nuke test reports in the media, the (english) paper's front cover was plastered in North Korean bomb technicalities (hardware diagrams and photos of the test area and a proposed site diagram). Also, the world had denounced the bombings and the USA were talking tough while the UN were talking further sanctions.

Life went on relatively normally for a few days, then I was privy to a great insight into Korean psyche:

In my last class for the night, I got teens playing 'A ship came into the harbour carrying.... countries!' so they had to keep naming countries until they couldn't think of any more, then they got knocked out of the game (incidentally, South Korean kids are great with country names - they couldn't name any from the Pacific Islands, but the rest of the world got well and truly utilised). Anyway, one of the boys was struggling, so he said North Korea (Korea had already been said), and the rest of the class pointed at him and said no. He said it's a different country, and the others said that's not true. I didn't know, so I let the guys decide - Korea, both north
and south, is one country, according to my omnipotent students.

And that wasn't surprising. There doesn't seem to be much animosity directed from south koreans to the northerners. North Korea plays football/soccer against other Asian countries, and the southies at the bars are always cheering at the tv for the northies (I haven't seen a south v north game yet though). based on what I've seen, the South doesn't seem to have any interest in attacking the north, and I wonder if the north feels any differently about the south (attacking Japan may be a different story).

To say an attack from the north is immenent seems a bit rich, as they've been sabre-rattling for years (I accept I know nothing about the situation though). What I am afraid of, however, is the USA going in guns blazing. South Korea has no ability to tell the US military to get lost (who does?), and considering the way the Korean military follow the US MPs around bars in Seoul, I suspect they'd feel compelled to fight too.

Every time I'm out and about in Seoul, I run into US troops. (see my Bullet without butterfly wings post) The one GI i spoke to at length one night believed that if the US pulled out of South Korea, the north would attack instantly. I think that disregards a lot of history and present circumstances. The week I moved here, the north and south announced they were planning on going to the Beijing Olympics as one nation. Is it politicking or is it progress? Who knows?

The USA has done a lot for the Southies economically, developmentally and educationally, and the quality of life here is relatively good for most working people. It wouldn't be the same without US involvement. However, the US might be undoing a natural peace process that could have been over by now.

I'm not saying that North Korea isn't dangerous, I'm just suggesting the idea the place is run by a madman isn't necessarily true, not necessarily false either, but I'm taking news reports with a grain of salt. Kim Jong Il has absolutely no intention of attacking China (the North Korean/Chinese border is nothing more than a relatively lightly guarded river), which suggests to me the guy has some semblance of logical thinking. The greatest atrocity in North Korea is the famine that's killing kids every day, not the nuke testing (personal opinion). How many kids died of famine in Iraq between 1991 and 2003? Um, lots. Due to what? UN sanctions. To me, this suggests sanctions don't harm the power of the people doing the harm. Just ask Zimbabweans. Oh, sorry, you can't.

it's a beautiful life ah aahh oohhh

so bombs are being tested, the newspapers are filled with condemnation and photos of North Korean 'might'. how does one deal with these terrifying times?

well, i joined the gym. it's a pretty trippy place: as we walk in, there's a pile of shirts and shorts for each person to wear (a gym uniform). everyone is wearing the same thing. i don't mind- saves me doing laundry. the music is basically suitable for 80's aeorobics classes, which is totally out of sync with what people are doing. men do weights and women walk slowly on the treadmills. there's no-one going full-jazzercise, if you know what i mean.

before i pass judgement, it's not like the women NEED to do any more. 40 year old women with the bodies of 20 year olds.

so yeah, if the bombs start flying and the USA decides to invade North Korea, I may be stuck, but at least i'll be humming along to some cool songs - a la it's a beautiful life, ah aahh oohhh. either that or i'll be at work. it's not like anything has changed here. in fact, the normality of life after the nuke tests is the interesting part.

Chu-seok week

It was Korean thanksgiving last week, so we worked monday and had the rest of the week off. So, monday and tuesday nights became the english teachers' poker nights at the local bar. The bar owner, Damo, liquored us up then cleaned us out both nights.

On the wednesday, Brian and I met Brent Wilson (Hawkes Bay/Waikato fella)in Itaewon, central Seoul, and checked out the Seoul Tower, watching the city from on high as the day turned to night. Red snake eyes moved slowly across and aside big black vines, or at least the cars followed the rivers.

the following day, Brent and I visited a couple of temples and checked out Daedunum market in central Seoul. On friday, Chu-seok proper, we climbed a hill, and had a wonderful view of the city's pollution in the south, and to the west, more green hills and parks. The housing complexes all look the same. It seems there was one contract to one designer and construction company. It seems that the nations fascination with dominoes crossed into their dwelling choice.

One night, we chatted to a couple of British lads at our hostel and learned a few things about, well, hmmm.... it'd be the dodgiest conversation I've ever had. Using the words 'to put it one way' is just impossible. I won't tell you what Teddy Bear's foot and the Alaskan Pipeline mean.

And in other news, I bought a bike and found an 11km cycling-only track along a causeway 4km from home. it's a great ride, especially with the smog-walls I can only see 2km in any direction. think a road that leads into a grey wall that rests over the water in all directions.

the longest game of Last Card EVER!

only i could go out to buy a bicycle and end up with a cake instead.

i couldn't find a bike i wanted, and was off to Jackie and Jo's place (two Kiwis who teach at the school next to ours), so grabbed a birthday cake for them both (thought it'd be a nice surprise, as it wasn't anyones birthday).

that night we played a good ol' kiwi fave: last card. the first couple of games were okay, pretty normal, but the third went for maybe an hour. at one stage, J&J&I all had a fairly even share of the deck in all three sets of hands with 1 card on the table. it had to be the single weirdest game of last card ever (do tell if you've experienced similar games). as the game went on, the level of intensity intensified (thank you, Mex) and the abuse around the table was diabolical (apparently if i look at cards that someone shows me, i'm 'a f***ing cheat!'). the others who were drinking in the next room came in to watch as the atmosphere was electric. i'll spare you the details that led to the final glory, victory, triumph of the human spirit etc, and tell you i won. J&J were both pretty bitter about it too, but all credit to them. last card really was the winner on the day (and so was i).

i bought a bike the next day. out for my first ride and nearly took out a kid who ran in front of me. it seems Koreans don't cycle or walk in straight lines, even when they can see something coming, so i'll have to watch out for that.