smoking men only
NZ culture surely has plenty of oddly contrasting aspects that i wouldn't spot, but here's a few dualistic things i reckon are part of the culture here in Korea.
1. princesses and sexism.
basically, Korea is a very sexist society. example: female foreign teachers are told to not smoke cigarettes in public, as it will give a poor image of the school. males, however, can chimney-choke away. i know a few women who've all basically said **** off and kept smoking, however after maybe a week, all the dirty looks from Koreans drive them into dark alleys for privacy.
a teacher who left not long ago was approached by the cops, yelled at and had her lit cigarette plucked from her mouth!!!
same rules apply for public intoxication.
also, during some drinks at an apartment (all foreigners), our music was too loud, so the neighbours called the cops. the boys in blue demanded to speak to a men, even though a woman was the only one who could speak some Korean. the first thing they asked her was if she was Russian (ie. if she was a prostitute), then she had to translate for us, even though it was as easy as telling us to turn the music down.
the flip side is that girls expect to be treated like princesses. in many ways, girls get things handed to them on a plate whereas boys are expected to fend for themselves. some directives at school are that hitting boys is fine, not girls. yelling at boys is fine, not girls. help girls with classwork before the boys. all sexism still, i suppose. girls learn to rely on others and not themselves? going back to the loud music and the cops, guess who would be held responsible? NOT the women, i'm assuming.
flip again, and the prostitution ratios in Korea are extreme for an OECD country. 1 in 6 women have worked in the sex industry. that's gotta be indicative of SOMETHING!
2. community and elitism
elitism is probably in every society in the world (even Antarctic penguins are snobs), and Korean hierarchy is irritatingly predictable. if you're the eldest, you're the most respected, end of story. university grants aren't dished out on merit. instead the most money gets dished out to the longest serving professors.
bosses, whom also are elders, react terribly when they don't get the respect from foreign teachers they automatically expect (for those who know me, you won't be surprised to read that i have a tough time respecting anyone automatically).
a friend of mine was drinking with a girl (20 years old) in a bar and an older gentleman (maybe 55) interrupted and invited her to drink with him. she didn't flinch, wished my friend a good night and sat with this guy for an hour while he chatted to her. it wasn't about sex, someone explained, rather she respected the fact that an elder had requested her presence. when the guy left, she went to her own home out of respect for the older man, as his night was over, hence hers should be too (sounds dodge to me, but apparently this is quite normal).
i organise to phone my students from time to time. we have a set appointment, yet when i call, sometimes no-ones home. they tell me that Mum or Dad came home and said they were going out for dinner. a parent's seniority automatically overrides the teachers, so the kids don't even mention that they've organised a chat with me. of course, they expect me to understand that 'Dad said . . ', and why wouldn't they. Mum and Dad are boss. the kids wouldn't think to say 'i told teacher i'd be home tonight.'
despite this, it's a communal culture. NZ is very individualistic, but Koreans refer to themselves as 'we', and see themselves certainly as members of a collective. everyone seems to consider Korea as an entity of which they are a part of. so, in some ways, they're all equal, but in others, absolutely not equal at all. maybe they all adhere to the hierarchy systems due to their own impending hierarchical ladder climbing. as they get older, they gain more power (not from those older than them though).
3. violence and innocence
i see kids hit each other every day at school. i also walk past hundreds of kids a day either going to, or coming home from Taekwon Do, Hapkido or Gumdo - all places where kids learn how to hurt each other. men are conscripted into the national services and HAVE to do TKD. from a young age, a lot of Koreans learn how to fight (they learn more, i'm sure, but fighting's one of the basic things).
the flip is that, incredibly, i've seen next to no violence whatsoever from adults (apart from one slight skirmish i had with a very drunk dude who wouldn't let go of my arm, which was resolved peacefully). i've seen some very intoxicated men having very loud arguments that just wouldn't happen in NZ, mainly because someone would turn the argument into a fight. here, i've seen men argue for 15 minutes, then one of them snaps, sees the pink mist, and slaps the other guy across the face. of course, the other guy reacts by looking absolutely shocked, hurt, violated, nearly cries and his eyes ask 'Why did you hit me?'
could this be a product of their Martial Arts classes, or the military, and having learnt to NOT strike someone? is this dualism i see not at all dualism, but rather just a group of contexts i fail to grasp as-yet, hence i shouldn't have posted this in the first place?
1. princesses and sexism.
basically, Korea is a very sexist society. example: female foreign teachers are told to not smoke cigarettes in public, as it will give a poor image of the school. males, however, can chimney-choke away. i know a few women who've all basically said **** off and kept smoking, however after maybe a week, all the dirty looks from Koreans drive them into dark alleys for privacy.
a teacher who left not long ago was approached by the cops, yelled at and had her lit cigarette plucked from her mouth!!!
same rules apply for public intoxication.
also, during some drinks at an apartment (all foreigners), our music was too loud, so the neighbours called the cops. the boys in blue demanded to speak to a men, even though a woman was the only one who could speak some Korean. the first thing they asked her was if she was Russian (ie. if she was a prostitute), then she had to translate for us, even though it was as easy as telling us to turn the music down.
the flip side is that girls expect to be treated like princesses. in many ways, girls get things handed to them on a plate whereas boys are expected to fend for themselves. some directives at school are that hitting boys is fine, not girls. yelling at boys is fine, not girls. help girls with classwork before the boys. all sexism still, i suppose. girls learn to rely on others and not themselves? going back to the loud music and the cops, guess who would be held responsible? NOT the women, i'm assuming.
flip again, and the prostitution ratios in Korea are extreme for an OECD country. 1 in 6 women have worked in the sex industry. that's gotta be indicative of SOMETHING!
2. community and elitism
elitism is probably in every society in the world (even Antarctic penguins are snobs), and Korean hierarchy is irritatingly predictable. if you're the eldest, you're the most respected, end of story. university grants aren't dished out on merit. instead the most money gets dished out to the longest serving professors.
bosses, whom also are elders, react terribly when they don't get the respect from foreign teachers they automatically expect (for those who know me, you won't be surprised to read that i have a tough time respecting anyone automatically).
a friend of mine was drinking with a girl (20 years old) in a bar and an older gentleman (maybe 55) interrupted and invited her to drink with him. she didn't flinch, wished my friend a good night and sat with this guy for an hour while he chatted to her. it wasn't about sex, someone explained, rather she respected the fact that an elder had requested her presence. when the guy left, she went to her own home out of respect for the older man, as his night was over, hence hers should be too (sounds dodge to me, but apparently this is quite normal).
i organise to phone my students from time to time. we have a set appointment, yet when i call, sometimes no-ones home. they tell me that Mum or Dad came home and said they were going out for dinner. a parent's seniority automatically overrides the teachers, so the kids don't even mention that they've organised a chat with me. of course, they expect me to understand that 'Dad said . . ', and why wouldn't they. Mum and Dad are boss. the kids wouldn't think to say 'i told teacher i'd be home tonight.'
despite this, it's a communal culture. NZ is very individualistic, but Koreans refer to themselves as 'we', and see themselves certainly as members of a collective. everyone seems to consider Korea as an entity of which they are a part of. so, in some ways, they're all equal, but in others, absolutely not equal at all. maybe they all adhere to the hierarchy systems due to their own impending hierarchical ladder climbing. as they get older, they gain more power (not from those older than them though).
3. violence and innocence
i see kids hit each other every day at school. i also walk past hundreds of kids a day either going to, or coming home from Taekwon Do, Hapkido or Gumdo - all places where kids learn how to hurt each other. men are conscripted into the national services and HAVE to do TKD. from a young age, a lot of Koreans learn how to fight (they learn more, i'm sure, but fighting's one of the basic things).
the flip is that, incredibly, i've seen next to no violence whatsoever from adults (apart from one slight skirmish i had with a very drunk dude who wouldn't let go of my arm, which was resolved peacefully). i've seen some very intoxicated men having very loud arguments that just wouldn't happen in NZ, mainly because someone would turn the argument into a fight. here, i've seen men argue for 15 minutes, then one of them snaps, sees the pink mist, and slaps the other guy across the face. of course, the other guy reacts by looking absolutely shocked, hurt, violated, nearly cries and his eyes ask 'Why did you hit me?'
could this be a product of their Martial Arts classes, or the military, and having learnt to NOT strike someone? is this dualism i see not at all dualism, but rather just a group of contexts i fail to grasp as-yet, hence i shouldn't have posted this in the first place?
posted by the Emperor Fabulous at 8:36 AM
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